Thursday, May 5, 2011

W is for Wishful Thinking

I am winding down the home stretch of the A to Z challenge. Of course, the whole idea of this challenge was to post every day (except Sundays) throughout the month of April. Clearly, I did not accomplish this, but I just can’t quit before I reach the end of the alphabet. Call it persistence, call it stubbornness, call it perseverance, call it what you will…but I am going to finish! And now I am one letter closer.
W is for wishful thinking. As we have just celebrated Benjamin’s 1st birthday (still hoping I can get some pictures posted here, somehow…sometime), I am continuing to watch him grow and learn new things each day. I could swear someone handed him a book on his birthday when I wasn’t watching, that was titled something like ‘These are the things you have to do now that you’re 1’. He is started to try to repeat words and sounds that I say more often now. He is getting closer every day to taking that first step. I am amazed, when watching him play with his new toys, at how quickly he is catching on to how they work. His little mind is just going a mile a minute. So that’s where the ‘wishful thinking’ comes into play. It has always been my dream to be a wife and mother. Beyond that, I have also hoped to be able to stay at home with my children. Unfortunately, that is not a card life has dealt me at this point. While I am definitely proud to be a working mother, supporting my child the best I can, my heart always feels like it is split when I am at work and Benjamin is at day care. I feel this especially now, at this busy time in his life, where he is learning so much, so quickly. My heart just breaks that I cannot be with him. This week especially has been very busy. We have had something going each night this week, which leaves little time for snuggling or playing when we get home. It’s time to hop in the bath and get ready for bed. Then, the morning comes and I usually have to wake him before we leave. Change him, dress him and we are out the door again. There seems to be little time for quality time. Tonight I am looking forward to a quiet evening with my beautiful son, to play, cuddle, sing and dance. I will never get these moments back…and I plan to soak them for all they are worth!
God’s blessings to you and your families today!


  1. Sometimes life does deals us hard cards but it's how we play those cards that counts.
    You are a marvel and I admire you very much.
    Take care.

  2. First off, congratulations on going ahead and finishing the challenge - on your own time!
    Second, it is so wonderful to hear the commitment you have to soak up every moment you have with your son. Blessings on you and your family!

  3. I also always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and it was especially hard for me to work the first couple years of Shiloh's life. But it does get better and I truly believe that God has a plan (in my life and in yours).